babel. what a film. feeling a bit bluesy after that ending.
finally moved in. it's been a long time coming and quite frankly i'm slightly overwhelmed by everything. i've accomplished so much, but so little.
even though i feel i have more to prove to myself now, i also can't help but get anxious at the prospect of potential failure. it's genuine ambition with a heavy dose of fear. more specifically, for the fear of self-sabotage, rather than failure through external circumstance.
i really can be my worst enemy at times. no, cross that. ALL OF THE TIME.
ok. maybe, just most of the time.
i went out at some point tonight to grab a slice from 2 bros. it was 3am, and even though they were shown as being open on yelp, st marks. place was as quite as christmas day once i arrived. instead, i ended up vouching for a joint called stramboli pizza that i happen to pass by through pure chance.
i had been feeling slightly disconnected, so naturally, a craving for a slice of extra cheese and warm dough was imminent.
it's usually during these unnecessary moments of self-doubt that something beautiful happens. a stranger and i will lock eyes, make slight gestures of acknowledgment for each other's presence, then a couple of heartfelt stammers of "how goes there?" and before you know it, we're both talking as though we've known each other our entire lives. All within the span of 8 minutes.
i live for these moments. these are the moments that not only remind me that i'm human after all, but also, that i'm OK.
tomorrow mike is coming over for a chat. he will be the 2nd person i will be talking to. 1st chat went well. no awkward moments. just gotta make sure to not smack my lips so much.
do as one..